Day 33, 6 p.m. medical update

Greetings from sunny New Hampshire.
This morning, Sage saw Maureen, the Physical Therapist, Barbara the Occupational Therapist, and Claudia, the Speech Therapist! Sage walked eight steps today on her own, using a walker in front of her to hold onto with both hands, AND she did this three times - forward and backward! It was awesome and wonderful to see!
Maureen started with 'warm-up' exercises in the chair, and then Sage was ready to go. She pulled herself up and held on to the walker, with Maureen nearby. Sage 'kicked the can' as it were for good measure, tapping the cabinet with each foot. Bravo!
Claudia and Barbara checked Sage's swallowing today, by having her drink/swallow different consistencies of liquids. The first type had the consistency of honey, the second was a bit more thick - like nectar or a smoothie - and the third was jello. While Sage tried each one out, Claudia would check Sage's with her stethoscope.
Sage then was ready for the fourth: applesauce. She did a wonderful job and was given the green light to start taking in foods such as applesauce, jello, pudding and custard. Claudia explained that the sense of taste is connected to our sense of smell, and due to the placement of the trach and air not going to her upper airway, Sage's sense of smell is not present (at present!).
Claudia explained to Sage that there are two parts to talking: articulation and the sound we make when air passes our vocal chords, which is our speaking and voice. Right now what Sage can practice is over-articulating, to strengthen the muscles around her mouth and face. Claudia also recommended that when reading a book or magazine that Sage mouth the words as though reading out loud.
Barbara talked with Sage about daily tasks she can do for herself that will help to strengthen her and move her along the road of healing: washing her face with a washcloth, putting on her glasses herself, taking her socks on and off, with one big goal being to brush her hair herself.
Barbara had Sage write her name, the date, the name of her dog (Sandy Belle), and also draw circles, all to strengthen her finger grip. She also gave Sage some silly putty with which to exercise her hands and fingers - squeezing it, pulling on it, taking it in and out of the container.
The plan is to continue to wean Sage off the ventilator. This is done by reducing the pressure support of the ventilator. The pressure support is what assists Sage with each breath she takes.
A clarification about the "downsizing of the mechanism of the trach": what this means is that the actual size of the tube that sits in the trachea and the trach collar that holds it in place is replaced with a smaller diameter trach tube. This is done as time goes on and Sage's breathing gets stronger. Right now, Sage has a number 8 'Shiley' (name of the company that makes the device). The 'shiley' is the small mechanism connected to the tubing that provides the support from the ventilator.
By reducing the size of the 'shiley' and having a smaller one, it helps to close the actual physical hole and make it tighter and smaller. This is all part of the plan and progress to become independent of the ventilator. The goal of a smaller 'shiley' is that it is one of the forward steps for Sage to eat different foods, talk, and get off the ventilator.
And an extra bonus: Sage got to eat some black raspberrry sherbet this afternoon. Tuesday is a good day!

the guys are ready for Physical Therapy! Sage's cheering squad!

exhausted! and ecstatic....

Day 32, 11 p.m. medical update

Greetings from quiet Room 12 after a busy day in it!
Sage was up early this morning and in the 'chair position' to greet her doctors on rounds. As DHMC is a teaching hospital, it is that time of the month when some of the interns and residents shift - so there were some new faces today, in addition to some of the familiar ones. Sage listened attentively to the report, shook right hands with the attending physician for this week, Dr. DeLong, and showed how she could raise her right arm and squeeze the foam exercise square with her right hand. As Dr. DeLong said, "now that is a motivated patient."
The plan is to slowly wean Sage from the pressure support of the ventilator and maintain her very steady and solid progress forward. Sage will also get a 'downsize' of the mechanism of the trach, which is another positive step toward her coming off the ventilator. Slowly, slowly wins this race.
Sage then spent the morning checking her email and facebook accounts, listening to her Ipod and reading the special edition Rolling Stones on the Beatles. She also had a swallow study with the Speech/Language Therapist, who determined that Sage's swallowing reflex is working well. Ice chips are now allowed - no more need to suck on the swab stick! - and as the week progresses, along with Sage, certain simple food will perhaps be tried, starting out with ones that are of simple and easy consistency to swallow.
Sage's NG feeds were started yesterday and have progressed steadily; she receives 30 cc/hour (about one ounce) of the 'super smoothie'. The nutrition team is looking at the formula to add protein powder.
Sage got to the green chair by the early afternoon and spent the rest of the day in it. She read some posts of the blog, skyped with Mark, Nathan, Sandra, Joshua and Sasha in Germany, took a nap,  and received a phone call from her cousin Luke who is on his way to Rome for the semester.
Sage also had Physical Therapy, and most exciting of news - she walked!! four steps out of the chair, holding onto the shoulders of Maureen, her physical therapist. Wow! That is progress and motivation! Go Sage!
Sage ended the evening  by watching the second part of the movie "Grease" on tv, along with some episodes of "Family Guy". She got back into bed around 9 p.m. and is sleeping away, Peter Rabbit right there snuggled into her side. Pop did bring in a pack of playing cards, in the hopes of some rounds of Gin Rummy and winning some money off Sage, but will have to hold off until tomorrow.  It appears that Sage has the same plan to add some coins to her coffers....
Thanks, blessings and huge gratitude to all in the circle, both near and far, along with the medical miracle makers who continue to watch over and care for Sage.
Good Night and good snuggles.

nothing like the corner suite.....

or a good read for Monday's work schedule!

sunset in new hampshire

last light

and evening colors

Day 31, 11 p.m. medical update

A short and sweet medical update, as they say a picture is worth a thousand words.
For the first time in a long time, Sage went outside. Felt the sun, caught the wind, saw the green. 84 minutes of peace, bliss, silence and green. Of wiggling toes in outside air. Feeling warmth upon the skin.
So much for which to be grateful.
Blessings and thanks.

Day 30, 11 p.m. medical update

Sage sleeps.

Her numbers - heart rate, blood pressure, oxygen saturation - continue to be stable, and from a clinical point of view, as was said on rounds today, it is all "pretty remarkable".

Sage was up early this morning and sitting in the green chair, looking out the window at the emerging day. She had most of the day without her NG tube placed (yay!) as Nurse Jane who is one of the awesome nurses that cares for Sage on the day shift - 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. - had the brilliant idea of keeping it out for the potential field trip outside, along with the fact that Sage has not been receiving any feeds through it for several days.

What a reprieve it was, and Sage was very clear that the NG tube would have to be inserted again before Jane left for the day. It was determined, again brilliantly, that a smaller size tube could be used. Every little thing makes a difference. Thank you Jane.

The outside trip was postponed, as Sage expressed that she maybe wasn't quite yet up for or ready for it. She rested most of the day, and managed to get in some good sleep.

The area around Sage's trach collar began to bleed a bit more profusely today, more consistently than other days. It was checked as the morning went on, and by afternoon when it had still not abated, a request was made for a surgeon to examine the area. Although bleeding can occur after a tracheostomy, it is somewhat unusual to have such profusion five days after the surgery - although it can happen and Sage is unusual. 

The anti-coagulating medication was discontinued and the surgeon determined by evening that the site had actually clotted (a good thing) and there was less bleeding than earlier in the day. 

With the NG tube in place, feeds will be resumed tomorrow, at a very slow pace. So drink those power drinks and send good jou-jou and protein Sage's way! that after this amount of time her digestive system is ready to start up the engine smoothly and easily.... 

Great thanks and gratitude for all both near and far, who care for Sage, who take care of Sage, and who continue the circle of care and love.

Peace and blessings upon your sleep. 

holding the silver bell and keeping that ice swab in place in the mouth!

Day 29, 10 p.m. medical update

Sage is in the house!
She is doing things right now that are amazing and miraculous, given where we were just a short five days ago, or even two.
Today, Sage had Physical Therapy with Gina who worked her hard. Sage did so well that she got positioned in the green chair and stayed sitting up for three hours, looking out the window onto the green horizon. She proceeded for the rest of the afternoon to express herself and communicate with those around her by nodding yes or no, pointing at what she wanted, and looking at people. She laughed at postcards received of scantily dressed men (please keep those coming! as laughter is excellent medicine) and was very interested in hearing about her cousins. She was excited to hear that Alex had made the Junior Varsity Soccer team, knew that Christian was going to Virginia Tech,  that Luke would be going to Rome on Monday for the semester and Megan to Edinburgh.
She shed many a tear as Pop talked about Annapolis, eating crabs and ice cream, her spring break vacation in Florida, and returning to Guilford. She started to read cards from friends but was not able to continue, as her emotions got the better of her - which is understandable and also so healthy to express.
Remarkably, Sage now suctions her own mouth and secretions with the suctioning hose. It sounds like the one at the dentist, so Sage is involved in her own hygiene and care!
She smiled when she heard that Uncle Tim, Aunt Kira and Lucy were coming to visit next week, that Pop was going to be here for awhile and that Gramma was coming back next week. Having friends and family visit makes such a tremendous difference....
She expressed that she was thirsty and was able to take in cold ice water with a swab in her mouth (almost like a sponge lollipop that absorbs water).
Sage gesticulated that she wanted the blinds down in the room (it gets warm in the late afternoon) and have more of Narnia read to her. Book Two is now finished, so it is onto the next one: 'The Horse and his Boy'.
She exercised and flexed toes and feet on her own and lets people know when she is uncomfortable.
Sage is doing so well that Nurse Jane tomorrow will work on getting her outside, so stay tuned! Jane will also work on getting a land line in Room 12, so that she may take calls....
And medically, Sage is making remarkable strides and doing great, according to her medical team.
We give thanks for such a day and for your continued love, support, prayers and positive, positive energy and thoughts. Thank you.
Sleep well and blessings to all.

for the love of the Sage Bug, no.4: 08/26/10

~ "When, after ages and ages, you finally reach the telltale world of truly high ground, where the chilled air smells of pine sap and the vegetation is gnarled and tough and wind bent, and push through to the mountain's open pinnancle, you are, alas, past caring....with a weary puff, you roll over,...struggle to your feet, and realize - again, in a remote, light-headed, curiously not-there way - that the view is sensational: a boundless vista of wooded mountains, unmarked by human hand, marching off in every direction. This really could be heaven. It's splendid, no question, but the thought you cannot escape is that you have to walk this view, and this is the barest fraction of what you will traverse before you've finished." ~

(Bill Bryson, A Walk in the Woods )

I think maybe there are very few coincidences and that maybe much of life is just a matter of paying attention.

My friend Catherine from Boston came to visit last week and asked me to think of anything she could bring. Books, games, food, Sudoku. Books, oh yes I thought, books. Yes of course; there are hundreds to read, so many that would be a good read right about now. But nothing came to me except  A Walk in the Woods. It was the only title that came floating out of my tired brain - why I don't know, as I've read it several times before. I asked for it anyways and Catherine brought it.

Thank Goodness. It's so funny; it has me laughing and my mother as well, reading parts and being almost in tears it's so hilarious. Bill Bryson - who again by coincidence lives right here in Hanover, NH - writes of returning to the United States after living abroad for 20 years. He somehow determines that what he needs to do most is hike the Appalachian Trail, so he sets out with too much stuff and probably not as lean as he could or should be. His buddy from Iowa, Steven Katz, joins him, whose diet requires donuts, Snickers, or Little Debbie snack cakes to prevent seizures. The book charts their course and encounters on the trail. It's a priceless read.
It's a book that Sage has read as well, probably several times. I figured that reading it out loud to her, apart from bringing some lightness and humor to the room, might also be a guide to waking up in, and becoming more cognizant to, such an unfamiliar place as Room 12 in the ICU.

So we started reading it last week, and I found us on Tuesday, one day after the tracheostomy procedure, at the above passage.  Even though I'd obviously read it before, this time it startled me and stuck to my ribs, due to the again coincidental and downright spot-on description of where I now find myself to be, and where Sage has probably been, in these last 28 days.
There are moments now in which the prevailing sensation is just that one of which Bill Bryson writes. Moments of beyond caring how you sound, smell, feel or look, to yourself or anyone else. All you can do is push, struggle and then realize somehow miraculously that there is a change in scenery, that something might be different now. Some vague deep internal knowledge floats up to you and has you, directs you to be keeping on, only keeping on, not stopping, not stopping at all for anything. Survival instinct? Stubborness? Love? Whatever it is, it's there, as much of the gene code as anything else inside. Because you realize - even with the sweetness of a pause for breath and a look around - that this is only the beginning of the trail, just a fraction and cut of what you will traverse before it's done. Because there is nothing else to do than just this.
I don't like running at all, at least not long distances. Marathons are inspiring to me as long as someone else is doing them. But it seems as though this particular path is a marathon of sorts. You start out with a lot of adrenaline and a yes! okay! I can do this! sort of spirit, for after all, you have trained for this; life itself has been the taskmaster for this one.
And then you enter those middle miles.
It seems the pace, the view, the energy required is quite different from that which came before. Difficult. Laborious. Questioning. Elusive. Shaded. Without an end. What's called for - to offset the incredibly tempting urge to take just a small little pause, congratulate oneself on the job done thus far, maybe even relax the pace and urgency of moving forward - is a steady, steadfast, faithful pace. Zoning in to the breath, the heartbeat and the mettle of one's own mind. It seems like you almost start to run against yourself; that is, fundamentally, the test of this stretch of road.
I think that's where I am right now. I realized it yesterday when I watched Sage get up out of bed for the first time in what seemed like a very long time. Head off the pillows, body no longer resting on the bed but rather held up against the weight of gravity. She was vertical, feet dangling off the edge of the bed, torso upright.
Wow wow wow oh wow oh dear, oh Sage. Oh dear Sage.
Such an effort to hold that moment in her body. The struggle, the ridiculously impossible effort to keep the head straight. Pain, pain, effort and pain, watching her hold the pain and effort and frustration through that silent crying of the trach collar.
It hits me low and deep; it's a punch to my whole system. Seeing her in this moment and struggle to be upright for a few minutes, well it cuts me with how really very sick she was and what exactly her body was subjected to over these days and nights and medications and pokes and numbers and thrumming of machines. A particular thought I had not really entertained this whole time; I had circled it but would not give it license at all, of Sage being so sick that....... Even now,  I won't do it, not right now.
It's the middle miles, the directive of them, and being that's where I am, I figure it could be wise to listen.
Don't question myself too much. Just keep going. Don't look behind. Don't focus so far out front. Stay right here, completely. Accept the pain, the moment, the grace of all of this which is too much to comprehend. Just let it be, and be with it.

This is part of what Sage shows me these days, profoundly and with such resoluteness.
Keep your eyes on the prize. Hold hands. Keep moving forward.

Day 28, 11 p.m. medical update

A short and sweet update before we turn in for the night up here.
Sage is resting peacefully right now. Peter Rabbit covers her heart, lying on top of the sheets between Sage's arms. She is holding onto his right foot tightly with her left hand, and he is just fine with that. Clean sheets, a bath and washed hair can make such a difference! Thank you Nurse Jen.
Sage had quite a day. She did really great work with Gina, her physical therapist for today, and got into the green chair (same style as the blue) where she sat for about two hours. She was asleep for most of it, but the difference of seeing Sage in a different position and place in Room 12 is striking. She is demonstrating much more movement with her right leg and right arm, and was even helping Gina during the workout by trying to move herself - rather than simply having her body be moved by someone else.
In other exciting news, Sage is down to her hospital admission weight - this is a wonderful milestone to reach.
As of now, Sage's is receiving nutrition through IV fluids, as she has had a hard time keeping 'food' in her stomach over the last two days. This will be addressed most assuredly on rounds, to determine if it could simply be a matter of 'the gut' having a hard time starting up after nothing being in it for almost 30 days, or if there is something else that needs to be considered.
Sage did a great job tonight getting her needs met by communicating with Nurse Jen in regards to discomfort and getting repositioned. She gave a slight nod for yes or no and pointed to and gave other indications of where she was not comfortable - tonight being her legs. Sage has to wear anti-blood clotting 'cuffs' on her lower legs, and she really doesn't like this. Nurse Jen talked Sage through it by compromising and taking the splints off her feet for a short amount of time. Sage was agreeable to this and was then able to fall asleep.
She continues to sleep peacefully. Thank you for your part in that. Rest well.

Day 28, 11 a.m. medical update

Sage continues to shock and awe and make huge strides for a size 5 foot!
As of now, she has one less tube on board, as the chest tube has been removed from her lung. Yay and hooray! Her numbers continue to be stable and her white blood count within the range of normal. The level of sedation medication is decreased significantly, the dosage being cut in more than half since last Thursday.
Sage continues to make strides in her level of dependence on the ventilator, as the settings of the breaths (the respiratory rate) were turned off. What this means is that Sage is initiating all the breaths herself, while still receiving pressure support from the ventilator. Before now, the ventilator was giving Sage breaths - 10 per minute being the last count - while she was 'breathing over' the ventilator (taking her own breaths) at a rate of about 12-16. This is all part of the weaning and is a very positive step in forward movement and right direction.
Sage will have Physical Therapy every day: the big plan for this day is to have Sage sit up in a chair! (those who know Room 12 know this particular chair as 'the blue chair'). Sage is gaining more movement on her right side. She gave Gramma a very small but sincere and earnest smile for 'Good Morning'.  Gramma told Sage all about the 'bling' Peter Rabbit is wearing (he thankfully is not begrudging last night's toss off the bed) - the miracle medal from Pepa, a rose quartz ring, a silver cross with turquoise, brought from Greece by Rose (one of Aunt Hilary's friends), and a medal from Gramma's church in Annapolis of Blessed Francis Xavier Seelos - and Sage listened attentively to all of it, checking it out as well....
She also tracked and listened to the doctors who came in, visited and examined her as part of medical rounds. She did not miss one word, including those her attending doctor, Doctor Rassias, spoke to her about her lungs sounding 'great', and that Sage was doing 'awesome'. Well there's some positive energy and good jou-jou! Right on! we'll take it and with much thanks! for even in here, positive words and acknowledgment can make as much of a difference as anywhere else in the world.
So today we thank Doctor Rassias, Dr. Bibler, Nurse Diane and all the other fine and wonderful people - so many to name and who we know mostly by their kind faces - who care for our Sage. We appreciate all that you are doing for her.
Stay posted, dialed in and in the circle.......Peace and blessings.

Day 27, 9 p.m. medical update

Sage has had another day of rest along with sure and steady steps along the path of healing and recovery.
The most exciting update to report is that Sage got vertical on the bed this afternoon!
With the aid and support of Nurse Diane and Maureen, today's Physical Therapist, Sage was scootched to the edge of the bed, able to look out the window at the still green trees, and sustained holding up her head.
This is the first time in what seems like - and is - a long time for Sage to be in a position other than lying down. She did great. The physical effect of being in such a different position, along with a deeper sense of realizing just how much strength has been required of her to get to this place, did cause Sage some real frustration and pain. But in her inimitable style, she pressed on and held on.
From a neurological standpoint, Sage today is making improvement (the words from her medical team on rounds this morning!). She wiggled her right toes slightly and lifted her right knee. Her right index finger has responded to touch and there was an ever so slight, very slight squeeze from the right hand, when asked for it. Sage responds to questions such as "squeeze my hand (left) if you want your glasses on" or "squeeze my hand if you want to listen to your ipod" by either squeezing or not. Tomorrow's goal will have to do with nodding yes or no, but there is a theory that Sage might just use a certain digit for 'no' and a thumbs up would be enough for a 'yes'.
We even saw the trace of a smile cross her face while she watched the antics of her brother and father, as evidenced in the photos below.... Nathan and Mark, sadly, had to leave DHMC today to begin their journey back to Germany.
Sage seems to be getting 'used to' the trach collar, if such a thing is actually possible. The numbers on the ventilator continue to decrease, as does the amount of sedation medication Sage is receiving - again, two very forward steps in the right direction. The NG feeds continue very slowly, as Sage had a bit of an episode twice today with not being able to keep it down. This might just have to do with the fact that she has had very little in the way of what might pass for "food" in her stomach for the better part of a month, so it could be an entirely appropriate response. The question will be asked tomorrow, in regards to this.
Sage continues to get rid of those extra fluids - the other exciting news being that she is only two kilograms above her admission weight! and this is remarkable and wonderful, for so many reasons. It lets those watching know that the kidneys are working and all is well in that department (and therefore others), or as Gramma so noted, "I like this pale yellow urine...." Wait 'till Sage hears that!
Yay Sage! Go fluids go!
Thanks and gratitude to all both near and far, who continue to hold the circle with Sage. It is completely and profoundly appreciated.
Peace, blessings and a restful night for all.
(postscript: it has taken two hours to get this post up because Sage is waking up and boy is she pissed! :) the sedatives have taken off the edge and Peter Rabbit got tossed off the bed! by Sage! and she shooed her own mother away from the bed. Ha! never would we have welcomed such a response to affection.)

how did these two get in the country?

it's not looking good....

oh god. get me more sedatives please...

ah joy, how sweet it is...

Day 26, 7 p.m. medical update

Greetings from Room 12.

Sage has had a day of rest and relative quiet. She had a bath, change of sheets, and her hair washed by Nurse Diane in preparation for a visit by her brother Nathan and her grandfather Pop. She continues to be weaned from her ventilator settings along with the level of sedation medication she is receiving. Her oxygen level is at 30% (the air we all breath being at 21%) and her medical team on rounds today did use the word "great" in reference to some of her numbers. 

Sage continues to have a normal white blood count and rids herself of the excess fluids she has been carrying out of necessity of these past 25 days. Even though the pneumothorax seems to have resolved itself, the chest tube will stay in place until she is off the ventilator.
Sage also started NG (nasogastric) feeds today, which is another milestone on the road to recovery. She has a fabulous protein and nutrition concoction specially formulated for her by the Nutrition team here at DHMC.
The Neurology team visited Sage today, and the most exciting part of their visit was that she moved her right leg - which is a first! Sage tracks people and voices with her eyes, continues to respond to simple commands for movement and reflexes, and holds on tight! with her left hand. She also expresses recognition and emotion, as she cried silent tears when she saw the face of her brother Nathan, and that of her grandfather and her grandmother.
The result of the MRI finds that nothing has changed, which means nothing has gotten worse - and this is considered good news. The affected area of Sage's brain is the left insular cortex and seems to be the area associated with movement on the right side - and most specifically, of her right arm. This is also what Sage is presenting clinically, as she has moved her right leg, knees and toes, yet without much movement in her right arm. This however, does not mean that she won't! - or so we say in the land of good jou-jou.
It appears that the opinion of Sage's Neurology team is that Sage's brain lesion is a result of a subacute stroke (infarct), as opposed to cerebritis. The thinking behind this is because Sage's cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) from Friday's lumbar puncture was normal and clinically her condition is not pointing toward cerebritis. The opinion seems to be that the cause of the infarct points more toward a blood clot than a lack of oxygen - out of deductive reasoning, more areas of her brain would be affected if it were the latter.
What this means in terms of prognosis is still uncertain; it is mostly a matter of waiting, weaning, moving forward with small and steady steps,  physical therapy, nutrition and rest. Sage is moving forward, in the way that is uniquely and beautifully her own - slowly, surely, steadfastly, sincerely.
For this we are thankful, and hold huge gratitude in our hearts for 'Team Sage' - the medical miracle makers, the miracle channeling team, family, friends, strangers, humanity itself.
Thanks to you, blessings and peace.

Day 25, 11 p.m. medical update

Greetings and thanks to all of you who were here with us in spirit, strength and love this afternoon while Sage underwent the tracheostomy in Room 12.
She received yet another double A+ from her surgeon, Dr. Henriques, who said that Sage did a great job. As did he, we are sure Sage would respond.
The endotracheal tube which has been in Sage's mouth and down her throat to provide the necessary oxygen and support since July 29 is now gone. Sage has nothing in her mouth and it is wonderful to see her liberated in that manner.
As is known in this world, when one something is taken away, it can often be replaced with something else. That something else is a trach 'collar' around Sage's neck. It holds the tubing in place for Sage to receive oxygen from the ventilator, until she becomes strong enough to breathe on her own.
Having a tracheostomy makes it easier to wean her off her ventilator settings and is a milestone in the ongoing road to recovery - so we will definitely take it and embrace it!
Sage is tucked up tonight with Peter Rabbit snuggling against her right side. He is a bit concerned that two 'interlopers' - as he calls them - have taken up residence with Sage: a beanie baby goat from friend Audrey (who is a Capricorn just like Sage) and an orange gorilla with a beguiling look upon his face (from friend Catherine who can have an equally beguiling smile). All three guard the gate and keep the quiet, along with your thoughts, love and prayers.
We are so very thankful that today went smoothly. We are thankful for the wonderful medical team that guided Sage this afternoon. We are grateful for the ongoing circle of love, light and healing that continues to be created for and with Sage, and we thank you, both near and far.
Rest well. Sweet dreams.

DIAL IN NOW: medical update

Sage is undergoing as we speak the long awaited tracheostomy. Anasthesia doctors and surgeons are turning her room into the space for a mini-operating room. Song for the day, right now: 'Get up stand up' by Bob Marley........Sage is in charge so turn on the tune, sing away and breathe deeply and easily for all in the room holding this moment. Please keep this energy, healing thoughts and love continuing for the next hour plus: 2:15- 3:30 p.m. EST. xoxo

a post from Pop

~ (Among doing many other things yesterday for Sage and for Sophie - driving to northern virginia to get Sophie's clothes to bring up on Tuesday, working on necessary legal and logistical issues for Nathan to be in Germany this school year, finding out about health insurance for Sage's rehabilitation - Dad/Pop managed to copy and send an email with the following poem. Sage wrote this in July 2008 for one of her creative writing classes at California Summer School for the Arts, a month long creative arts program where she found more of her uniqueness through exploring and crafting her written expression. It speaks for itself and for Sage.... p.s.: Who says men can't multitask! and with a silver bell to boot!) ~   

Sophie, 
I've polished up the silver bell.  It really looks great now; maybe Sage will be able to use it now, while at DHMC, and later when home.

I'm forwarding to you the poem that Sage wrote so many years ago; as you know, we've had it framed and it's hanging, with many other special memories, in the upstairs hall.  I thought that you might want to add it to "Sage's Journey", since mum and I have always loved it, and it says so much about Sage. Much, much love to you both-  Dad/Pop

                                                     THE HOUSE    

                                This is my house,

            The house of my childhood, of my youth,

                        It is where I learned to

                                Walk, and

                                Talk, and

                                Swim, and

                                    Run

   This is where I think of when I think of home.

It is not the physical house that makes it significant,

            But what it stands for, which is

                            Family, and 

birthday time with nathan and lucy in new hampshire/dhmc!

                             

with nathan, dad, sandra and joshua in germany!

  Fun, and

howdy pardner!

                               Life, and

                                 








Love.

graduation from sfwhs! june 2009!

THE most awesome brother! like no other!

    It is always far away but always in my mind,

                    Taking the shape of

                        My grandfather,

with these two here, nothing can go wrong!

My grandmother, 

gram, cake and nathan! yes!

                      

                         My cousin, 

                            My aunt,

                           My uncle. 

 my amazing uncle bob!

my awesome aunt hilla!

            And they are beckoning me

                            
























                                                Home.

                                              

uncle tim, cousin lucy and a swing: three favorites!

                                                           SAGE

fresh air and family! and 

 fun, together forever!

Ode to the Medical Miracle Makers....

It is hard to describe or imagine the level of care, knowledge, thought and training that has been synthesized, personified and exemplified in the extraordinary people who have come into Sage's life in the last 25 days:
Nurses, respiratory therapists, physical therapists, doctors, surgeons, radiologists, helicopter pilots, flight nurses and medics. Transport techs, housekeeping personnel, MRI, Xray and CT scan technicians. People whose hands, hearts and minds have guided lines, tubes, medication, oxygen, fluids, blood, life itself and relief from pain into Sage's body and the mysterious and remarkable systems that make up the home of the human soul.

~Albert, one of the medic nurses who flew in the helicopter with Sage to DHMC, and his wife Jen (we know her as Nurse Jen and the one who washes and braids hair like no other!).~ 

It is difficult to express adequately the appreciation and gratitude felt by Sage's circle of love and healing - here in Room 12 and all around the world - to those who have guided these days and dark nights with quiet assurance, steady hands and patient intellect.

~Awesome ICU team! (well about 1/3 of them...)~

We thank you. Peter Rabbit thanks you. Sage's mom, dad, brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and zillions of friends thank you. We acknowledge you and are deeply grateful for your presence in this experience like no other.
~Two of our most seriously awesome nurses, Nurses Molly (left) and Kathy~

And we are humbled at the tenacity and willingness of the human spirit to encounter, heal, comfort and touch another person's life, no matter what. Amazing grace it is, indeed.

~ Our very own Fox Mohler! always thinking three days out!~

And so all that can be found to give to you are these words by a wise gentleman from Chile:
"This moment as smooth as a board, and fresh,
this hour, this day as clean as an untouched glass
not a single spiderweb from the past:
we touch the moment with our fingers, we cut it to size, we direct its blooming.
It's living, it's alive: 
It brings nothing from yesterday that can't be redeemed,
nothing from the lost past."  ('Ode to the Present', Pablo Neruda, Ode to Opposites)

Sage's song for the world today: 08/22/10

This is the clock up on the wall
This is the story of us all
This is the first sound
Of a new born child before he starts to crawl

This is the war that's never won
This is the soldier and his gun
This is the mother way to buy
The fall praying for her son

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung up on your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

There is a drug that cures it all
Blocked by the governmental wall
We are the scientists inside the lab
Just waiting for the call
This earthquake weather has got me shaking
Inside I'm high up and dry

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung up on your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

Confess to me every secret moment
Every stolen promise you believe
Confess to me, all that lies between us
All that lies between you and me

We are the boxers in the ring
We are the bells that never sing
There is a title we can't win
No matter how hard we must swing

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung up on your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we could have been

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung up on your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we could have been
Could have been, we could have been

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we could have been
Could have been

~~sing it. play it. share it. live it. for and with sage. ~~
this is how it works: i turn on the ipod at random times during these days and there is a song playing. the song there is sage's message to the world for the day. i have nothing to do with it, just turn it on and there it is, what sage is dialed into. always timely. always always what is being said in this moment of endless time. pay attention. stay awake. see the miracle of this moment. live. laugh. often and much. xoxosophie